One of those mornings…..


I rolled out of bed this morning cursing the infant teething process and wishing that we could have another time change so I could gain another hour of sleep.  After I stretched and got my bearings, I went to wake Amelia up for school.  It’s becoming increasingly difficult to wake her up in the morning, so when I walked into her room, I was on a mission.  I stepped up onto the bottom rung of the ladder to her loft bed and started saying her name.  I shook her shoulder and was thinking about finding a song on my phone to play her when she popped up into a sitting position.

Amelia: “What??”

Me: (slightly annoyed) “You need to get up”

Amelia: (looking at me) “Why?”

Me: “You need to get ready for school”

Amelia: “No I don’t”

**It’s at this point that I remember that today is election day… and there’s no school on election day.**

Me: “…oh shit”  (stepping down from the ladder and walking toward her door) “see you in half an hour”

Amelia:   “Well, I’m awake NOW.”

And then my 6 year old daughter spent the next 30 minutes sitting in my bed watching TV and periodically looking over at me trying to sleep and chuckling.

I also managed to spill my coffee on a jumbo pack of toilet paper left in the middle of the kitchen and get a monster paper cut while reaching into my purse for my sunglasses.

My Hero (a story featuring kids in mustaches)

The craziest thing happened to me last night….

I was on way home, walking through the forest, when I heard the leaves rustle from above. Just then,  woodland nymph appeared before me.

She looked friendly enough. Sure, she had a villain’s mustache, but she was smiling and singing and she had a heart on her shirt. What villain wears a heart T-shirt?The nymph looked like she wanted to show me something, so I took a step toward her.

“What is it? What do you want to show me?”

She smiled, turned and flitted away. I followed. After a short while, the nymph came to a clearing. She looked around, smiled and stopped.

“What’s here? Did you want to show me something here?”

She turned and locked eyes with me. Just then, I felt a tug on my sleeve. I looked down to see the funniest little elf.

He had a villain’s mustache too….but his eyes were so big that I decided that he MUST be kind and honorable.

“Oh, who are you little buddy? Do you want to play?”

The elf’s eyes sparkled as he stared at me. Then I heard the nymph giggle. I turned to look at her, and as I did, the elf snatched my bag and ran away.

“Oh no! You’re not a nice elf at all!”

I chased the elf deeper into the forest. I was about to catch up to him when the elf turned and threw my bag off the trail. I crouched to collect my belongings, but as I did, I felt a sharp crack to the back of my head. I felt my body being pulled across the ground….for being so small, these folks were strong. It was then that I realized what was happening.

They were taking me to their leader.

I’d heard the horror stories. “Little Z” was ruthless. What would happen???

My heart was racing as they blindfolded me. What were they going to do? Nobody knew where I was. By the time anyone realized I was missing, it would probably be too late.

Just then, I heard a crash and glass breaking. Somebody shouted “Oh no, it’s HIM!!”
There was a scuffle and howls. And then there was silence.
Still blindfolded, I felt myself being carried. What was happening now???

Finally, I was set down on the ground. I took off my blindfold and found myself on the original path, where I’d first seen the woodland nymph. Then I looked down and saw my savior.

He bowed to me.

My Lady..

And then he was gone…..

I really need to move closer to work. My commute is getting weird……..