My Hero (a story featuring kids in mustaches)

The craziest thing happened to me last night….

I was on way home, walking through the forest, when I heard the leaves rustle from above. Just then,  woodland nymph appeared before me.

She looked friendly enough. Sure, she had a villain’s mustache, but she was smiling and singing and she had a heart on her shirt. What villain wears a heart T-shirt?The nymph looked like she wanted to show me something, so I took a step toward her.

“What is it? What do you want to show me?”

She smiled, turned and flitted away. I followed. After a short while, the nymph came to a clearing. She looked around, smiled and stopped.

“What’s here? Did you want to show me something here?”

She turned and locked eyes with me. Just then, I felt a tug on my sleeve. I looked down to see the funniest little elf.

He had a villain’s mustache too….but his eyes were so big that I decided that he MUST be kind and honorable.

“Oh, who are you little buddy? Do you want to play?”

The elf’s eyes sparkled as he stared at me. Then I heard the nymph giggle. I turned to look at her, and as I did, the elf snatched my bag and ran away.

“Oh no! You’re not a nice elf at all!”

I chased the elf deeper into the forest. I was about to catch up to him when the elf turned and threw my bag off the trail. I crouched to collect my belongings, but as I did, I felt a sharp crack to the back of my head. I felt my body being pulled across the ground….for being so small, these folks were strong. It was then that I realized what was happening.

They were taking me to their leader.

I’d heard the horror stories. “Little Z” was ruthless. What would happen???

My heart was racing as they blindfolded me. What were they going to do? Nobody knew where I was. By the time anyone realized I was missing, it would probably be too late.

Just then, I heard a crash and glass breaking. Somebody shouted “Oh no, it’s HIM!!”
There was a scuffle and howls. And then there was silence.
Still blindfolded, I felt myself being carried. What was happening now???

Finally, I was set down on the ground. I took off my blindfold and found myself on the original path, where I’d first seen the woodland nymph. Then I looked down and saw my savior.

He bowed to me.

My Lady..

And then he was gone…..

I really need to move closer to work. My commute is getting weird……..

Memories from a year ago…..

One year ago I was gigantically pregnant.  I was still the mother of one and I had no idea what it would be like to have a son.  I was nervous about childbirth and praying with all of my might that I would have a successful VBAC.  At this point in my pregnancy, I was trying to find a good way to induce labor.  As you’ll see below, extinguishing lawn fires is NOT an effective method.

***************************************************

3.28.2008    38 weeks pregnant

Okay, I’ve tried all the tradition home methods for starting labor. I’ve decided that it’s time to move on to more “unique” methods. For example, yesterday afternoon I put out a fast moving grass-fire.

I stopped to pick Amelia up from our friends Avery & Jasmine’s house. Jasmine runs a small in-home daycare. The only kids there were Amelia and Jasmine’s daughter Makayla, so they were in the cul-de-sac riding their bikes. We all went into the house to get Amelia’s bag and I needed to make sure that Amelia went potty before we left. While we were in the bathroom Jasmine went outside to get the bikes and ran back in screaming that there was a fire in the neighbor’s yard and it was coming toward the house.

For a few minutes (maybe a minute) we tried to slow it down by using pots and pans to throw water on it, but it was just moving too fast. They just moved in and haven’t gotten a garden hose yet. Jasmine was talking to 911 and still throwing water and I ran outside and started knocking on doors. Her neighbor had a hose so I turned their water on and started spraying. By this time the fire was right up to the walls of 2 houses (the house right next to Jasmine’s and the next one down). At some point the woman whose hose I was using came out and started helping. I ran around to the back and got the hose from the next house down and kept spraying. Meanwhile Jasmine had moved on to dumping water on the neighbor’s front yard because the fire was right up to their door. We’d taken care of most of the fire when the Fire Dept got there and put out the hot spots.

When all was said and done, the entire lawns of both houses were completely burned, as were the front hedges of the house next door. Buckets, gutters and a couple fire hose holders were completely melted. Luckily, none of the houses were dramatically damaged and nobody was hurt.

It amazes me how lucky the situation was. That Jasmine only had 2 three year old there (that she hustled to the house across the street at some point)….she usually has 2 toddlers and an infant there too. That I happened to be there picking Amelia up and hadn’t left because I was trying to get Amelia to go potty. That the fire got right up against the parts of the houses that were made of brick. That the woman 2 houses down (who came out to help) happened to get out of work early today. Wow…crazy.

After the fire dept left I went inside to get a drink. When I came out the people next door were standing there (they’d JUST gotten home…can you imagine????) and the lady said “You must be the pregnant lady who put out the fire!” It wasn’t all me by any means, but it was sort of nice to be treated like a hero.

By the way….I’m still not in labor. I guess I’ll need to go out and find more excitement today.